Is It Normal to Contemplate Divorce When You’re Married?

You married your husband because you love him. Still, there is a fine line between love and hate. After a full day of annoyance you’re thrilled that you bought that big bed. Now you can go to your corner and he can go to his. In these dark hours of night or in moments of quiet solitude have you thought, “maybe we should just get a divorce?” You and everyone else.

The Dreaded “D” Word

I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about how easy life would be if my husband were not apart of it. The house would be clean on a regular basis, that mysterious ding on the car would never have appeared and I would never have to watch another game of football for the rest of my life. This is not to say that I actually want to divorce my husband but it is nice to have options. As women, we are constantly planning ahead. Since we were little girls we knew the exact cut of our wedding dress, what age we would like to have our children by and where we would like to be in our career by the time we reach thirty. It is a huge leap to go from having your whole life planned out to having at least half of it determined by another person’s needs. For a lot of women it isn’t a matter of actually wanting to get divorced but rather knowing what they would do if they had to leave. Just because you have a Pintrest board of all the apartments you would rent if divorce became a reality doesn’t mean you’re ready to toss your ring and sign the papers. It simply means you like to have your ducks and a row. There is nothing wrong with that.

The Warning Signs

You might still have butterflies in your stomach just having thought about divorcing your husband. It is a naturally uncomfortably thing to contemplate. While a lot of couples joke about it and even more couple throw down the “D” word in the heat of an argument it doesn’t make it healthy. Sure it’s common place but is it good for us? Psychologist say that bringing up divorce, however passive, should not be taken lightly. Even if you meant it to be a joke it could be your subconscious setting off an alarm in your mind. This alarm is screaming “something isn’t working.” Whatever the problem is, it is affecting the productivity of your marriage.

Before you write your thoughts of divorce off, take a good long look at what made you think about it in the first place. Maybe you’re just tired from work, or maybe the two of you are ready for a vacation. Perhaps it is simply time to be more physically affectionate with one another or maybe you need to address a more pressing topic of betrayal. Whatever it is, talk it out and resolve it. If all goes well, those thoughts of divorce will fade.

 

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